Den of Thieves Pantera

Watched on February 4, 2025

Rating:

I try to avoid lazy “this film is like <other film>” comparisons but I feel like the Den of Thieves films actively invites them, being so blatant with their uhhh let’s call them “homages”? So if the original film is dirtbag Heat, Den of Thieves 2: Pantera is dirtbag Ronin (“Ronin” is used as a callsign here and is one of the first words in the film ‐ like I said, blatant), or maybe dirtbag Oceans 12. Or maybe even dirtbag Miami Vice. Or maybe all of these things.

Point is, it has a very different vibe from the first film. Much looser. There’s less swagger and more swanning. Less out to impress the Boondock Saints crowd. More out to impress the Le Circle Rouge crowd .And it kind of suits it more? They have some fun with it, and they use Big Nick’s fish out of water schtick to great effect (“FUCK NATO!”).

Don’t get me wrong, despite its aspirations, this is still a very, very dumb film. But it’s never not entertaining and holy hell can Christian Gudegast film an action scene.

Fun.

Babygirl

Watched on February 3, 2025

Rating:

I’m delighted that Hollywood has started embracing sex again but I feel like I was oversold on how horny this film was. Not nearly as torrid or thrilling as it seems to think it is.

Moana 2

Watched on February 2, 2025

Rating:

Apparently this started life as an episodic TV show for Disney+ and was hastily retrofitted into a full-length movie and oh boy can you can feel it. The obvious TV adaptation structure pokes through pretty hard, especially in the first half of the film. The songs, in particular, feel shoe-horned in. They’re completely forgettable and have no magic and really cement the feeling that we’re hitting the Aladdin: The Return of Jafar level of rushed cash-grabbery.

But what do I know? I asked my kids (9 and 6) if they thought this was better or worse than the original Moana and they said “much better” and they absolutely loved Maui’s “Can I get a Chee Hoo” song.

Take from that what you will.

This is the Tom Green Documentary

Watched on January 31, 2025

Rating:

At the beginning of the film, Tom Green almost goes out of his way to point out how artificial documentary filmmaking is, how by documenting something, you’re changing it so you’re not getting the true, authentic thing. It feels like he’s preparing an excuse so he, the most ironically detached man on the planet, doesn’t have to actually be sincere here.

As a result, I’m not sure if the film teaches us anything real about Tom Green, or about what drives him. It’s bookmarked by his big move out from Los Angeles and out to some farmland in Canada and we aren’t actually told the reasons for the move (I guess we can infer something about mental health but this is mostly speculative?)

All the same though, Tom Green is an entertainer that doesn’t get enough credit and sometimes it’s enough to be given just a quick reminder of all the great things he’s done.

A Real Pain

Watched on January 30, 2025

Rating:

I enjoyed my time with A Real Pain. It’s a Kieran Culkin type character (conveniently played by Kieran Culkin) bouncing around Poland with a Jesse Eisenberg type character (conveniently played by Jesse Eisenberg) and the whole film is brought to life by Kieran Culkin’s natural effervescence. Everything else ‐ literally everything else ‐ exists in service to his performance. Which is both good and bad. It’s fun to watch him cook but feels like the rest of the film suffers a little. Like, this is Jennifer Grey’s first major role in decades and she’s got nothing to do except be a foil for Culkin in like two scenes. Feels like a lot of missed opportunities got missed because they were just so focused on Culkin Culkin Culkin.

And that’s fine. Like I said, I enjoyed it. He’s got buckets of charm and, more importantly, he’s also got the chops to pull off the occasional emotional gasp when it’s needed.

But if you were to ask me what the film is about beyond this, I’d struggle. I guess it’s trying to say “people sure are complicated!”? There’s a few other things I can see it reaching for but not quite succeeding. Although I accept this might also be a cultural thing and if I was Jewish or American, I might see this film differently?

Regardless, this is still a solidly entertaining hangout film.

Times Square

Watched on January 29, 2025

Rating:

Wonderful, vibrant performances completely let down by a lazy, lifeless screenplay. Robin Johnson and Trini Alvarado give some of the best on-screen depictions of proper angsty punk teenage rebellion almost in spite of a screenplay that doesn’t know what to do with the characters beyond some surface level bullshit.

Interesting how you can really see the bones of Empire Records here though!